Harry Potter and The Deadly Fight
by Palchat
Summary: SEAQUAL TO HP 5 ORDER OF THE PHEONIX!Harry is fighting once again against Voldemort and the Death Eaters. What he does not know is that Voldemort and has gained more power than ever before. Will he discover that what he really needs is a power that Vold
1. An Emotional Return

Harry Potter and The Deadly Fight

It had been only a week since Harry had returned to the Dursley, when The Order of the Phoenix came to take him away again. Tonks, Lupin, Arthur, and Moody arrived on a humid Saturday night on broomsticks at no. 4 Privet Drive. It was around midnight and Harry couldn't go to sleep, even though he was exhausted, since for the 3rd time this week Dudley was complaining on how his teachers were so cruel and hated him and that that's how he didn't pass the school year. Harry thought it was about time he got held back as Dudley could hardly scrape algebra with a D, yet alone English with a D-. Aunt Petunia sided with Dudley and demanded that he become home schooled. But at the moment she brought up this idea Dudley let a fake wail that he wouldn't have any friends and quickly said that she would never bring that thought up again. Uncle Vernon said he'd force a meeting with the principle, however Harry doubted anything would come out of that.

Lupin and Harry seemed much closer now as of Sirius's death, as it affected both of them tremendously. The Dursleys did not dare go near them since Moody frightened them enough. Tonks packed Harry's items in a snap. Harry however was not told anything until they arrived at The Order. Lupin simply replied that it was too risky to talk about the situation in front of anyone that were not in The Order, even muggles like the Dursleys.

They rode on broomsticks with the same charm used from the last time Harry was saved from the Dursley's. As soon as they arrived at around 3:45 a.m., Harry asked Lupin again why it was so important that he had left the Dursley's in such a hurry and why it was so secretive, but Lupin simply hushed him up and told him to wait till they were safely inside with no worries of eves-dropping. However, at the moment Harry stepped inside the familiar gloomy mansion, Mrs. Weasley rushed towards him and gave him a great big squeezy hug and thanked God that he was all right. Harry still completely clueless and lost, tried yet again to ask the same question he had been trying to ask since they arrived at the Dursley's but was stopped yet again this time by Hermione who had tears of happiness in her eyes and Ron who almost fainted in relief just like everyone else seemed to.

"Can someone please tell me what's going on hear?" Harry asked extremely confused. Everyone fell silent.

"Well?"

"Hermione, Ron, maybe you two ought to tell him," Lupin sighed.

Hermione and Ron exchanged uncomfortable looks, and then nodded. Harry followed them all the way up the magnificent stair case uncertain weather he should be worried or not. When they reached a dusty old room, Ron looked at Hermione than said, "You first."

"Fine," said Hermione, "Um...Harry?"

"Yes!" Harry said with anxiousness, frustration, and suspicion.

"Well," Hermione began, "You see, Dumbledore ordered you here immediately because Voldemort (Ron flinched) has started searching the Muggle world for you. He was last reported in London and were afraid he..." Hermione's words died out as she looked towards the ground, and than with out any warning, flung here arms out and hugged Harry so tightly, that he could hardly breathe.

After Hermione loosened her grip from Harry a bit Harry managed to say, "Do you mean to say that he's in London right now, looking for...me?"

"Yes, Harry."

"We are guessing he thought this is a perfect chance with out Dumbledore watching over you," That had been the first time Ron had spoken.

"But he's wrong," said Hermione, "because Dumbledore will always be looking after you." The there was a long pause before there was a knock on the door. Ron opened the door and they found Lupin standing outside.

"Um...Harry, Dumbledore has come to see you." Harry, whose relationship with Dumbledore was quivery since they last talked, slowly made his way down the staircase and into a large room wear Dumbledore was sitting.

"Good Morning, Harry," Dumbledore said while standing up to greet him, "may you please close the door behind you?" Harry shut the door than turned towards Dumbledore. "Sit down," Dumbledore said as he gestured towards some extremely comfortable armchairs. "Listen Harry, after what happened just a couple weeks ago you may not feel to fond of me at this moment and I understand because it was entirely my fault I had not told you. But Harry, you must stay with The Order until you go to Hogwarts. I will be staying here a lot. Now Harry it is time that I learn from my mistakes, is there anything you wish to tell or ask me?"

"Err...no professor."

"Are you sure Harry?" said Dumbledore eying him with that penetrating look that Harry new only too well.

"Professor, is the Ministry finely taking action?"

"Yes indeed they are Harry. The Aurors are searching everywhere possible to try and catch Voldemort. The Order is too."

"And Peter Pettigrew sir?"

"The Order is looking for him. You see, Fudge will still not believe this and allow him self to face the reality of his misjudgment. He still makes himself believe Pettigrew to be dead." Harry now felt closer to Dumbledore than ever before because of his carrying towards Harry. Harry soon began to realize this after he had cooled down after their long talk last year. But still Harry would not look at Dumbledore straight in the eye. He was still trying to get over the fact that Dumbledore was being perfectly natural again. Dumbledore seemed to sense this and said, "Harry, I know after our long talk last year you must feel awkward to talk to me but, if there is anything you wish to tell me, even something personal such as your feelings, I will listen to every word. I care a lot about you Harry, and I understand you more than you might think I do. I understand that you must be very confused and hurt about Sirius's passing. You might even feel extremely revengeful towards Bellatrix. As you are just beginning your life, having someone their for you is extremely important. Someone like a parent. Especially since you have grown up without one. You can always count on Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, Remus, and of course me to listen and be there for you. Your parents were like my own children to me. You are also. You can look at me as much more than just your headmaster."

Harry was quite astonished to hear this. He looked up at Professor Dumbledore and saw his bright blue eyes staring at him. He felt quite emotional. He didn't understand why. He just felt like being hugged. Tears slowly streamed down his eyes as though he had wanted to cry all his life. Harry lowered his head and stared at his knees, full of pain inside of him. He did not know how to stop his everlasting tears. Dumbledore seemed to understand how Harry was feeling and went to hug him. His hug was tight but loving and seemed to be a strong medicine for Harry. Harry now felt surprisingly better knowing he had someone he could count on...someone who cared. Though his tears kept going. He felt like he was getting rid of all the pain, all the anger, all the frustration that had been building inside him for years. He could admit it did feel awkward hugging Dumbledore, but it somehow felt right.

At that moment there was a knock on the door and Remus came in but stopped in his tracks to find Harry with his tear stained face and Dumbledore looking solemn and sad. "Harry," he said concerned, "are you all right?" Harry nodded in reply not looking at him in the face he did not want Lupin to see him like that.

"Harry is simply a bit depressed and recalling a few painful memories, Remus," said Dumbledore eying Lupin with a mixed look of talk-to-you-about-it-later and understanding towards Harry. This was true because Harry was recalling Sirius's death and how he felt when Sirius asked him to live with him; and those were painful memories. Dumbledore always seemed to have a way of knowing one's thoughts. Harry could not feel more grateful towards Dumbledore at this point, since the last thing he wanted was for Lupin's questioning and sympathy.

Lupin seemed to follow Dumbledore's gaze and said, "Well Molly is just making a bit of tea and wanted to know weather you two will be wanting any."

"No Remus, not now, thank you," said Dumbledore in a casual voice. Lupin turned uncertainly at Harry.

"No thank you," Harry said in barley more than a whisper. Lupin made one final glance at them both and left the room without a word. The tears had stopped a bit, but started from scratch as soon as Lupin left the room.

"Well Harry unless there is anything more you would like to talk about, I suspect Miss Granger and Mr. Weasley is still waiting for you. Harry looked up at Dumbledore and saw a face full of understanding and compassion staring back at him.

When he reached the door, Harry turned towards Dumbledore and said, "Thank you," then left. He wiped his tears on his way up the staircase. He thought they had stopped but it seemed anytime he thought of anything painful, they would start, and as nothing but painful memories were on his mind at the time, there was no way of controlling them. The sun was now rising, but if anything he felt emotionally exhausted which started to make him exhausted physically too. When he reached Ron's room, he knocked still making an effort to dry his tears and stop them. Hermione opened the door and with one look at Harry's tired, pale face with tears streaming down it, she new something was wrong. Harry tried to hide his face but too late.

"Harry," Hermione said sounding extremely concerned and worried, "what's wrong? What happened? Why are you like this?"

Ron was sitting on the bed a look of extreme concern and anxiousness on his face.

"No, no...It's nothing."

"Harry, don't worry you can tell us. We'll understand," Hermione said, her tone filled with sympathy. Harry gave in.

"Well, Dumbledore talked to me a bit. Then...he told me if there was anything I needed, that he, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, and Lupin would always be there. And, then started talking about...well...about...my feelings." Ron put on a look of thorough confusion at these words. Harry had not looked up at them not once but could sense their reactions through the silence in the room. Ron put on a mixed expression of confusion and disterbedness to Hermione. Hermione was now looking very shaken, and like Harry, extremely solemn. She glanced at Ron once and broke the silence.

"Oh Ron, when will you ever understand. Harry has gone through a great ordeal. Dumbledore's concern for him is natural. And Harry has grown up without the feeling of someone older than, him concerned or worried for him. He's grown up without that feeling of love and compassion." Ron however was still looking thoroughly confused.

"Why's Harry all like that then. And how come you can always understand us better than we can even understand ourselves?"

"That's because I'm a girl. And Ron if you'd just use your brain, you'd understand what Harry's going through. Harry is extremely hurt emotionally and needs a bit of love and compassion. He has gone through more we can ever imagine," she lowered her voice now till she was almost at a whisper and said, "Since Sirius's death, Harry has been needing sympathy like Dumbledore's and has been needing to take out his frustration and his pain." Harry couldn't stand anyone mentioning Sirius's name anymore. His tears started all over again and this time, harder. He couldn't help but make little weeping noises. Hermione took one glance at Harry, and went to put arm around his shoulder.

She too started to cry a bit and said, "Oh Harry, I'm so sorry about...you know." Harry couldn't help but feeling very grateful towards Hermione because of how mush she seemed to understand him. Ron still looked very confused but seemed to feel sympathetic and sorry towards Harry. "Harry we will always be here for you," she continued, "you can always count on us if you need anyone to talk to." Harry simply nodded but tears wouldn't stop streaming down his eyes. Hermione noticed this and squeezed him into such a tight hug he could barley breath, but he felt better.

Ron went towards Harry uncertainly and said, "Don't worry mate. You can always count on us."

"Thanks," Harry said trying to swallow his tears, "Let me just go now." Hermione let go of him and nodded but Ron looked at Harry worriedly. "Really, I'm fine," Harry said whipping his tears. "See," he put on a very weak smile and left. He went for his room. It was just the same as last year. He plopped himself spread eagle on the bed and closed his eyes. He removed his glasses. He opened his eyes and gazed at the ceiling.

Then he heard a strangely familiar voice say, "You really are better of without him." It was the faceless portrait.

"Shut up," Harry said.

"Just telling you the truth," said the voice. Harry couldn't take anymore. He put on his glasses, slammed the door and left. He leaned on the door for a minute, when he heard Lupin call his name. Harry turned and saw Lupin at the bottom of the staircase.

Lupin climbed up the stairs. When he reached Harry he said, "Harry, come here. Follow me." He put his arm around Harry's shoulder and they made their way up the stairs. Harry was tiered of people feeling sorry for him although it always seemed to make him feel better. They stopped at a room next to Ron's. Lupin opened the door and said, "Come in Harry, come in." He ushered Harry in. It was a big beautiful room and it looked as if it was perfectly brand new and untouched. The bed and curtains were made of ruby red velvet lined with gold. The bed frame and dresser were both made of rich cherry wood. At the corner of the room was a narrow curved corridor. Lupin led him in that direction. It led to a very small cozy room with nothing but a couch facing the fireplace and a rug in the center. Lupin gestured for Harry to sit down. With a tap of his wand the fireplace burst in flames and there came instant warmth from the crackling flames. Lupin sat down beside Harry. "Harry, Dumbledore told me what happened." He paused. His face looked worn and tired. Then he continued in a sort of strangled tone. "Harry I know Sirius's death has affected you very much." He pause again and looked down to the floor. Harry had never seen him so solemn. Then he new that Sirius's passing must have affected Lupin as much as it affected himself. Sirius and James were Lupin's best friends, and now with both of them gone, it must have pained him terribly. Just as it pained Harry. With Harry's parents both dead Sirius was the closest thing he had like a parent, and now he too was dead. It pained Harry even more that he was the one who led Sirius to his death. Unintentionally of corse, but all the same, he felt guilty and responsible for what happened. And it was not just him who was suffering he thought as he looked into Lupin's face. Lupin seemed to be swallowing tears that did not seem to want to come out. "Harry listen to me," he finally said, "if you ever need anyone to talk to, I'm here for you. I just want you to know that." He looked into Lupin's deep brown eyes and saw a great deal of compassion.

"Thank you," Harry said. He did not know what else to say...to anyone. He looked down at his knees again.

"I want you to think of me as your second godfather. You are just as dear to me as a son would be. Sirius would not want you to be sad and depressed." just like the moment Sirius had gone through the veil in the department of mysteries, it seemed like every word was causing him a great deal of pain. Though he tried to keep his voice steady. As Harry looked into his face he saw that Lupin was trying hard to put on a weak smile. It seemed as though talking about Sirius was too much for Lupin to take at that moment. Harry felt the same way. Harry instantly felt much closer to Lupin now. He was not sure what made him do it but he just sprang his arms around Lupin, and Lupin did too. Lupin was one of his father's best friends but now became Harry's guardian. He did not know what he would do if he lost Lupin too. Lupin and Harry had finally stopped their tight hug and were looking at each other with great sympathy and compassion towards one another. "I don't know what I would do without you now. And Harry, if there is ever a time when you are feeling hurt or lonely, always look into your heart and you will find mine, Sirius's, and of corse your mother and father's love." He drew his hand towards Harry's heart. "Harry I know it must be to painful to live in the same room that you lived in when...when he was still alive, so I would like you to have this one." Harry looked at Lupin with a strangled expression of thanks and understanding, but Lupin understood and gave him a smile and nodded. "Now go wash up and get to bed, you must be exhausted. I will do the same." They gave each other one last hug and Harry went off to move his belongings from his old room and into his new one. Harry felt as though Lupin had just cured his pain completely.


	2. A Past Uncovered

Chap. 2

A Past Uncovered

After Harry had taken a nice hot bath, he felt so exhausted he could barley put on his pajamas. He walked up to his new bedroom and plopped down on the comfortable velvet bed. He felt into an instant sleep. He dreamed of himself falling through a dark hole for a very long time until he stopped in midair and saw…. his parents.

"Mom! Dad!" Harry was shouting through the darkness, "help me! Save me! Mom! Dad! MOM! DAD!" Lilly was reaching out a hand toward Harry, but he could not reach it. James was speaking words Harry could not hear. Then came a shadow outlined in a blinding light. It was Sirius. _"Sirius!" _Harry called, "Sirius don't go please don't!" But Sirius was floating away. There suddenly came a high-pitched voice of laughter.

"You'll never see them again Harry Potter not unless you want to go with them!" It called. Then came a figure appearing and suddenly disappearing then again appearing and disappearing as if coming from a bad connection on the television. Lupin was yelling though Harry could barley hear his words.

"No Harry! You must stay here were you belong! You need to Harry! Harry listen to me you can't go! You must fight to live! It's not your time yet! One day you will meet us here but not now!"

"Are you going to listen to your silly friend?" came that high, cold, evil voice again.

An echo was racing through Harry's head, _"Harry listen to me you can't go! You must fight to live! It's not your time yet!"_

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Harry was once again falling through the endless darkness, shouting. It was cold and it was beginning to get foggy. Harry felt he had been falling for ages but now the fog was thickening rapidly until his sight was blinding with the endless fog now to bright to look at. There seemed to be a light coming from behind the fog. It was so bright now that Harry could no longer keep his eyes open.

Harry woke with a start, cold sweat now dripping down his face. His whole body was shaking with weakness. His scar was burning white hot. The face staring back at him from the handsome wood-framed mirror could not get paler. Harry could not remember the dream he had just abruptly awakened from. He tried to remember but could only hear shouts in his head along with a high pitched laugh that made the hairs on the back of Harry's neck stand on end. Harry got up and felt a lurch in his stomach. He put on his glasses and as quietly as he could, made his way to the door. He left to take another hot bath. Harry realized he had too much tension and stress to deal with already. He had to relax.

Once more, Harry got into his bed, took of his glasses, and pulled the covers over him trying to free his mind of any stressful or depressing thoughts. He fell into an easy sleep this time. When Harry woke up, he noticed the sky unusually dark for morning, then realized he must have slept well through the afternoon. He made his way down the staircase and into the kitchen. Lupin, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, Ron, Hermione, Fred, George, and Ginny were all sitting at the table looking as though deep in conversation. When Harry had opened the door, they all seamed to jump in shock. Harry new they must have been talking about him.

"Harry," Mr. Weasley called, "we were just about to wake you up to eat dinner. You must be starved." It seemed as though everyone was either looking at him apprehensively or not daring to look at him at all.

"Harry are you alright?" Lupin asked looking at him as though Harry was hiding something from his. The truth was that Harry felt a bit awkward knowing the grapevine must have spread to them all about the what had happened early that same day when Harry arrived. He felt a bit embarrassed and preferred not looking at any of them.

"Yes. I am," Harry replied.

"I hoped you slept well?" Lupin questioned. Harry opened his mouth now remembering his abrupt awakening by a dream he could not even remember, but thought better of it. He did not want to tell Lupin in front of everyone.

Instead, Harry answered, "Alright."

Everyone ate in pure silence. Several times one of them would open their mouth to speak though no words came out of it, then closed it again and continued their meal with no further signs of discussion.

"Well," Lupin said breaking the stressed silence making everyone looked up in alarm, "How about a nice game of Exploding Snap?" He looked around in an unnaturally cheerful smile. No one seemed in the mood, "How about chess? Ron?"

Ron shook his head in reply and said, "Not now thanks."

Lupin's fake smile faded a bit. Harry new he was just trying to break the silence and have them thinking about something else than Harry. They continued their dinner in the same complete tense silence. Slowly Hermione, Ron, Ginny, Fred and George finished eating and made their way to the room next door closing the door behind them leaving Harry with Mr. and Mrs. Weasley and Lupin.

"Well I've got to go and see Dumbledore. Sorry I can't stay." Mr. Weasley said suddenly. "Nice to see you again Harry." He added as an after thought.

"I've got to get something quickly," Mrs. Weasley said hastily. She made a quick glance at Lupin and left the kitchen without another word.

"Harry I told them all what happened when you arrived. No details don't worry," Lupin began, "They were supposed to act as natural as possible but…. er…. as I guessed you most likely noticed it did not work out that well. They were all extremely upset for you and understand what a difficult time you are going through. They of course have also been deeply affected by recent events but just don't know how to act toward you knowing it must have affected you far worse. I personally found them different toward me at first. Much different. Just act as normal as possible. Ok?"

"Ok."

"Remus, may I ask you something?" Harry had not even noticed he had called him by his first name. Now that he was feeling closer and closer towards Remus it just felt natural.

"Of course Harry, of course. Remember what I had told you? Think of me as your second godfather. You don't have to ask me to ask a question."

"Well, I woke up last night, I mean this morning, from a dream I could hardly remember. My scar was burning white hot just as it does when I am next to Voldemort. I was all sweaty and shivering. And really cold. I felt really weak too. I have only felt like this once before. When Mr. Weasley was attacked. I took another hot bath and went to bed again. I don't think I dreamed anything else. Remus…you don't think it was Voldemort, do you?" Harry looked up at Lupin and saw an odd expression of extreme concern, suspicion, and questioning.

"You can't remember the dream at all?"

"Well, I do remember some screaming and someone saying…. I think it was, '_You must fight to live!' _it was a man. Oh yes, then I remember a cold shrill echoing laughter. I'm almost sure they were all people I know or new." Harry fought hard to remember every detail of the dream but every time he seamed to remember something, he would start questioning himself if that really did happen or not. He was making himself more and more confused.

Lupin was now looking at him with a look of through suspicion and questioning, "Harry this is probably Voldemort again. Don't trust anything you dream of anymore. I will let Dumbledore know about this. I believe he will start occlumency with you again. Now Harry, I want you to promise me you will not go out to look for Voldemort no matter what you see in your dreams, even if it is a warning of any sort. You must tell either me, Mr. Weasley or Dumbledore. And definitely don't go out to get revenge on him. It's not worth your life," Harry new of course that Remus must know nothing of Harry's and Voldemort prophecy, "no one is worth your life Harry. Nothing and no one. Promise me Harry. Just promises me this." Harry could not tell Remus about the prophecy. He just didn't feel it right and did not want him to worry over him. He did not know what to tell him. It was quite difficult. Harry could not promise that he and Voldemort would not meet again under revenge, because of what the prophecy. Harry remembered what the prophecy said about how either Voldemort or Harry would die eventually. He did not know how to respond to Remus. He new Remus meant well.

"Harry, is there something you need to tell me?" Harry shook his head, but Remus looked suspiciously into his eyes and said, "Harry what is it? I know there is something you need to tell me. Confide in me Harry."

Harry thought Remus would probably find out someday anyway from Dumbledore, so he decided to tell him. By the end of what seemed like a days worth of lecturing, Harry finished telling Remus about it all. Harry felt a bit uncomfortable but at the same time a bit relived to have shared this with someone he trusted. Remus however was as paler than apiece of parchment while looking extremely shaken.

"H-Harry? Is all this true are you sure you did not get the least bit confused or mistaken by what Dumbledore had told you?" Remus said shakily.

Harry being quite shocked at Remus's reaction said, "Er…no. I am quite positive about this all."

Harry heard Remus muttering to himself. "Er…Remus? Are you ok?"

"W-What? Oh, yes, Harry yes I am fine," he paused then added quite hastily, "no Harry, no I'm not fine. I don't think I can't bear to stand losing my two best friends _and_ one of my best friend's son! I am sorry Harry I just have not been myself lately. Since what…what happened… I just don't feel right." Remus put his head between his knees so that Harry could not see his face however knew Remus was in deep sorrow. Harry put his arms around Remus's shoulders and felt his stomach drop because it felt really weird but he knew it was ok because Remus was no stranger. Harry somehow felt of Remus as half a parent and half a best friend. Remus looked up at Harry and Harry could feel that Remus was fighting the urge to not cry. His face was pale and sweaty while his eyes were extremely red and watery though no tears fell from them.

"It's ok." Harry said awkwardly while his throat felt strangely dry and tight.

Harry when you do encounter him…" Remus gulped as though the words were paining him deeply, "Fight. Fight hard Harry. Live. Please. Harry you are on of the strongest and bravest wizards I have ever met. Honestly. You have lots of guts. And you definitely are greatly courages to have suffered and gone through as much as you have in the past few years. Your father would be proud. Really. You are truly a brilliant wizard. You honestly make me proud. And Dumbledore too. He really thinks highly of you. Harry, Dumbledore was really upset after he talked to you last term. He obviously did not tell me nearly everything he told you, or else I would have known everything you just told me, but I'll tell you this Harry, Dumbledore let a good few tears out after you left his office that day." Harry was quite astonished to hear this. He new Dumbledore had a single tear trickle down his cheek but he never would have imagined Dumbledore actually _crying_ about a mistake he made with Harry. He had always thought of Dumbledore as a strong, and wise man. Then he thought, strong and wise men can be sensitive too and that crying does not make him weak.

"Remus…you don't think Dumbledore didn't want me to tell you this. Do you?"

"No Harry. I believe Dumbledore didn't tell me because he was waiting for _you_ to tell me. Harry, don't feel shy or embarrassed to express your feelings with Dumbledore. It would hurt him greatly if you abandoned your bond with him or didn't put enough trust in him. He loves you a lot. He comforted me a lot after what had happened that night and he could comfort you as well. Just give him the chance." It seemed as though Remus could no longer speak Sirius's name. It was as though it would cause him too much pain if he did. And Harry fully understood.

…:…:…:…

It was around eight that night, and still no one except Remus made any interaction with Harry. They all felt uncomfortable being around him and did not know what to say or how to approach him. Everyone including Remus felt extremely sorry for him. Harry did not mind that much since he did not feel like talking much. Even Hermione and Ron became uneasy around him and found any excuse to get away from the area he was in. Dumbledore did not come around at all. Almost everyone went to bed early that night. The only people left awake were Remus, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, and Harry. It was just when Harry went into the kitchen for a loaf of bread to satisfy his growling stomach's needs, when Mrs. Weasley uneasily pulled him to the side to talk to him.

"Harry….." she began. Her voice died out and she would not look him directly in the eyes, though Harry thought he new why. She had her arms gripping his shoulders firmly, and while she spoke, she shook him with great strength though it did not seem like she noticed. Harry, being his bony little self that he had always been, was pushed so hard that his glasses nearly fell to the brim of his nose. Then she continued in a voice quite unlike her own. Instead of perky and energetic, it was low and muffled yet shaky. "I am really sorry about Sirius," as soon as she said this Harry lowered his gaze, "you are the bravest young man I have ever known. You really are Harry. I tried to talk to Ron and the kids to try to be as normal as possible with you but I guess I am not helping either. Remus told us all this morning a bit of what had happened between you two a bit after you arrived. You know the little talk you two had. I must admit, I have been extremely uncomfortable being around Remus since that night when…." Her voice died once again. Then she began this time shakier than even before, "oh Harry…. I am truly so sorry," then she embraced him in the tightest hug she could have ever given him. His very rib cage was on the verge of cracking. He could barley breathe. But it still made him feel much better. Mrs. Weasley always had a way of making him feel better when he was sad or depressed.

"You must really be thoroughly depressed about all this and I don't blame you a bit. Harry, I am just so glad that you're alive!" she squeezed him into a tight hug again, and then burst out into sobbing tears.

"Harry I love you like a son and don't want to see you get hurt," she said drying her tears, "it would break my heart if anything happened to you. I am very proud of your courage and what you have had to put up with. I never personally knew your mother or father, but I did know Sirius and I do know Remus and out of what they have both told me, I know your parents would be immensely proud of you.

"Harry, I do hope Remus told you that if you ever need anything you can confide in me. Think of me as your mother. I know I could never take away the place in your heart where you keep your real mother, but I sure think of you as my own son. Even if you would just like to tell me anything, even if it is personal. Really Harry, don't hesitate," Mrs. Weasley's tears had ended however the look of sorrow was still in her eyes. She surveyed Harry with a look of deep understanding and comprehension.

Harry, who was shocked to hear he was _equally as_ important to her as her own son's, looked down at his knees and managed to mumble, "Thank you Mrs. Weasley," with extreme uneasiness.

Mrs. Weasley seemed to notice the muffled ness in his voice and said, "I know this is probably extremely awkward, but I really do care about you Harry. It will take time for you to get used to it. And of course you can always count on Arthur too. You can think of him as a father."

It was now near midnight and the exhaustion was just starting to sweep over Harry extremely rapidly indeed. He lied in bed thinking about the events that happened since came. He was still deeply shook by the close bonds that he had made in this short period, but felt as awkward as it was to be so personally tied to former professor (not to mention one of his parents' best friends), a headmaster, and one of his best friend's parents, would help him. He lied awake for a bit then without much warning, fell into a deep interrupted sleep.

He awoke pretty late the next morning, as if he had jet lag, to find a two very familiar voices ringing through the living room. One was a very unpleasant voice, the other a very welcomed voice indeed. Snape and Dumbledore. Harry crept slowly down the stairs as so not to be heard and sped through the hall very silently. He did not want to see Snape at that moment (or ever). But as he paced rapidly and as quietly as possible across the door that led to the room that they were in, the door slammed open and out came Severus Snape. Harry jumped backwards in shock. Snape, Harry thought, was acting extremely unusual. When he saw Harry, instead of giving Harry his usual look of loathing, he merely looked down at the ground pretending not notice him, and sped off down the hall. Harry stood transfixed at what had just happened but was soon shaken out of his shocked daze when a voice came from the room.

"Ah, hello there Harry," Dumbledore said pleasantly, "I have just finished talking to Professor Snape. Just woke up I expect?" Harry nodded, "come in Harry come in," Dumbledore ushered Harry into the room. There was a tray full of food that Harry found rather tempting. Dumbledore seemed to notice Harry's look of craving and offered him some. After Harry helped himself to the delicious food in front of him, he noticed Dumbledore eyeing him once more with that penetrating look. "Harry, is there anything you would like to discuss?"

Before Harry could say no, a thought had just sprung into his head. "Professor, why did Professor Snape act awkwardly when I passed by him? I mean, he usually gives…. me a certain look…. but right now he did not even glance at me at all." Harry did not think it very appropriate to say that Snape always gave him a 'look of loathing' in front of Dumbledore.

Dumbledore however, seemed to consider this question thoughtfully then said, "Harry, I believe that Professor Snape has felt a closer connection with you since what happened at the end of last term." Judging by the look on Harry's face, he had not quite understood what Dumbledore meant. Harry could not understand how in the world Snape and him could have had any sort of close connection. " Harry," Dumbledore continued, "When you and Professor Snape had occlumency lessons, you saw glimpses of his past. Didn't you see anything when he was a young boy?"

Harry thought hard. Then it came to him. The young little figure of an extremely pale boy with greasy black hair and a hooked-shaped nose shoved in the corner of a room; a face full of tears while a man with the same shaped nose and a woman stood in front of the little boy yelling at each other; the young boy's mother and father. Then another image came to his mind: A girl laughing at a boy while he tried to mount a broom. And then Harry remembered a scene he would not forget for a long time. Snape's Pensieve. It was as though he were re-playing a scene from a movie inside his head: The teenage Snape being laughed at by the many onlookers as Harry's father and his gang messed around cruelly with him; their form of entertainment. Then, Harry remembered hearing about the incident where Sirius played the trick with the Whomping Willow, which being very gullible, he fell for it. He nearly got himself killed.

Dumbledore seemed to take Harry's look of concentration and comprehensiveness as a yes. "Severus went through quite a bit when he was younger; both at home and at Hogwarts. A rough time. I new him well. As you know, he used to be a Death Eater. He made himself believe that this would make him feel proud and accomplished. I knew him better than that. I new that he knew deep inside his heart that would get him into nowhere but trouble. Well, I persuaded him that it would just ruin his life rather than make it better, much less, happy. It took him a while, but he eventually let me introduce him to a fresh new start, therefore leading him to work as a professor at Hogwarts. By doing this, he risked his life. Even today he has a rough life filled with painful memories. I constantly tell him to trash the painful memories and think positive. Well, as I think you can tell, it seems very difficult for him to do this." Harry had no idea how this made him and Snape any close connection; after all, Harry's own father was a major cause of all of Snape's depression, but all the same, Harry kept listening intently to Dumbledore without missing a single word. "Well Harry," Dumbledore continued, "as I trust you will not tell a single soul, you should know, Professor Snape's parents…er…let me just say they would get hooked on drugs and would abuse him." Harry let out a gasp of horror at this and felt his jaw drop. "Not long after he entered Hogwarts for his first year, his father died out of alcohol abuse. Snape was in complete distress. Since that point on, everything went down fall. While the rest of the students at Hogwarts had no idea about his conditions, their bulling him got to Severus worse than it ever could have before his father's death. He never really liked his father much, but it still affected him greatly. He started to become more revengeful and jealous than ever before. He had no friends and envied anyone who did. He was most unpopular at school. As much as he tried in his classes, he could not manage to become top at any subject, except perhaps potions. He was especially envious of James. To him, James had the perfect life; smart, top of all of his classes, the Gryffindor Quidditch star, good-looking, popular. His mother was not much better than his father had been to him. She never wrote to him while at Hogwarts. He in fact spent his holidays at Hogwarts. At the last couple years of Hogwarts, he became deeply interested in the dark arts. He became lured into becoming a Death Eater.

"After Snape heard what happened at the Ministry of Magic last term, he instantly flourished an odd connection with you. All the suffering, bravery, your loyalty towards your friends, the guilt you felt to have lured them their, you risking your life to save your friends, and especially towards Sirius, fighting for your rights-for the wizarding world. It seemed to shock Severus. He always thought of you as a copy of your father's youth. In fact Harry, you and Severus have always had a close connection. Neither of you knew it of course. It is indeed a very deep and hidden connection. It does not mean you both were fond of each other," he added noticing the look of confusion on Harry's face, "however, you both truly cared for each other deep inside. If I am not mistaken, Severus feels a sense of responsibility for you without even knowing it since your parents passed away. Your part of the connection began at the end of your first term at Hogwarts. When you found out that Severus saved you at the Quidditch match. As much loathing a person has for another, saving their life will create an unbreakable bond. Severus saved your life because he cared for you. You care about him to. If Severus were about to be killed, you would risk your own life to save him. After your father saved Severus's life, they had a connection too. They of course still disliked each other very much, but that action showed a sense of caring between them. After your father passed away, for Severus, that connection seemed to have carried its way through your father and on to you. That action at the match that year, proved that Severus cared for you.

"That is why he pretended not to notice you when he passed by you earlier. He did not quite know how to act with you after what happened at the Ministry of Magic. To tell you the truth Harry, he actually feels sorry for you. I know it is hard to imagine, but it is true. You and Severus have certain things in common within your pasts. Severus's parents were often cruel to him; your aunt and uncle have been cruel to you. Both of you spent your vacations at Hogwarts. His father died and your father died when you both were young. (You were much younger of course.) You have both been mocked by your peers several times. And you have both suffered a lot."

Harry was shocked at everything he had just heard: Snape's past, Snape and his father's connection, Snape and his own connection, and Snape feeling sorry towards Harry. Harry had always thought that Snape had saved Harry at the Quidditch match because he felt in debt of James for saving his life. That was part true, Harry thought. But then Snape actually _cared_ for Harry.

Dumbledore was studying Harry's gaze. "A lot to understand and comprehend, is it?"

Harry nodded in reply. He looked as if he were in a strange trance. It was so much to think about, that it made his head throb. "Wow," he whispered softly to himself. He had never known the truth about Snape's past. Dumbledore seemed to hear this.

"Severus and you have a very interesting relationship as I see you are beginning to notice. You two should not judge each other so easily. But I guess it must be hard after the interesting past both of you have had. It is amazing how many ways you can both show your hatred toward each other; yet hide the caring so that you both don't notice it." Harry agreed with Dumbledore greatly on this.

After a good ten minutes of a silence full of concentration and thoughts, Dumbledore seemed to notice that Harry would stay in this state for a good, long while until someone shook him back into reality. Dumbledore decided to break the stiff silence. "Well Harry, I suggest you say hello to Professor Snape in a nice, casual way and I daresay Miss Granger and Mr. Weasley have been wondering anxiously to know just how long you can stay asleep. I don't believe they know you are awake.

It was extremely hard to say hello to Snape in a 'nice, casual' sort of way since casual was a look of extreme dislike, but he managed. Snape merely gave him an expressionless nod. Hermione and Ron looked from Harry to Snape in a look of utmost confusion and goggling in their faces.

"What was that all about?" Ron asked incredulously.

"A very strange and confusing past that has just been revealed." Harry answered ignoring Ron's confused glances.

Hermione gave Ron a he-obviously-can't-tell-us sort of look. Hermione obviously wanted to change the conversation for Harry's benefit and casually asked, "So…Harry, why did you wake up so late?"

"Oh, that. Well I did wake up sort of late I guess. But I was talking to Dumbledore for about an hour and a half to two hours. You know," he added uncomfortably at look on Ron's face, "stuff."

Hermione made no comment on this however Ron looked thoroughly startled. "But you two already-"

"How about grabbing something to eat from the kitchen?" Hermione said cutting Ron off shooting a look of warning back at him. "I bet Harry's starved."

"That's ok. I ate with Dumbledore."

"Or we could play a game of Exploding Snap?" Hermione said clearly trying to clear off the subject between Snape and Harry.

"Ya, that's a good idea. I've needed to have a bit of fun lately."

…:…:…:…

Hermione and Ron had clearly gotten back to almost normal conditions with Harry although the other Weasley children were still extremely uneasy around Harry. Harry was glad he had Hermione and Ron to talk to. It was all starting to become very depressing. Mr. Weasley acted a bit more relaxed than the day before, however it was Mrs. Weasley's behavior that affected him the most.

Mrs. Weasley acted almost normal with him however Harry could not help but notice the unusual lovingness and protection she had over him. It seemed almost unnatural. He did not mind it though. He actually liked it. It made Harry feel good. It was a sense of motherly caring. Harry could not help but feel a bit jealous to the Weasley children for having a true mother. Harry thought it must be the thing that people take for granted the most: loving parents by birth. He felt more than ever grateful to Mrs. Weasley for treating him exactly like her own. He also could not help but think about how loving his own mother would have been. Harry imagined her being loving, kind, gentle, sweet, caring, and over all perfect. It made him extremely sad to think about it and it made an odd sinking sensation in his heart. At times, if he dwelt long enough on the thought of how his mother would have been, brought tears to his eyes.


End file.
